Tezuka-bucho lorded over his members with the quiet grace of a lion. His wild mane of hair rustled pleasantly in the warm wind as he turned his eyes to Echizen Ryoma practicing in A-court. Worry not. I shall indeed guide you towards your destiny, Pillar of Seigaku. Oishi commented quietly to him about Echizen’s improvement, and Tezuka nodded sagely. Yes, my loyal fuku-bucho, always at my right hand, never failing in your astute-
“Ah, Eiji! Ready for our rematch?” Tezuka-bucho watched his fuku-bucho virtually float away starry-eyed from his side.
“There’s no way I’m gonna lose this time!” Eiji declared, chin high. His racket was tucked in the crooks of his elbows behind his back, which arched provocatively. Why was Tezuka sensing slut-vibes here? Was that even possible?! He watched the pair walk over to D-court, Kikumaru’s perky little bottom doing its sway to and fro. Look away bucho, look away. There but for the grace of God- “It took me three showers to wash off all that honey! Three!! I never knew there were so many places...”
Then, thankfully they were out of earshot, and Tezuka wouldn’t have to hear anymore about Kikumaru and Oishi and honey. He took a deep breath, settling his nerves again. Ah, here was Seigaku’s “dataman,” skillful manager of the team, Inui Sadaharu. Assisting a teammate’s technique, eh? We have an unwavering devotion to the same dream, do we not, Inui?
“-any harm in it just once. We’re in our experimental stage, it’s only natural.”
“It’s unnatural, Senpai! Something like... that... is very unnatural. I’m sure it’s illegal too!”
“Technically no. Maybe if I used a different sort of... device. But as it is, it’s perfectly within the bounds of the law.”
Both Kaidou and Tezuka-bucho shivered.
Then Tezuka began to fret. Were all of his members insane? Had he somehow driven them to this?! Kawamura hadn’t fallen victim to it, he thought. That strange black hole of homoeroticism which was sucking up everyone else. Sure, he had that split-personality thing, but that was more a product of extreme suppression. So supressed in fact, that it was almost as though Kawamura was... asexual. And Tezuka was fairly certain Echizen was too young to think of such things. Tezuka didn’t even want to think about Fuji. He was staring at Tezuka now, from across the court, violating him again with those eyes of his! Kyaa!
Then there was Momoshiro. A normal, growing boy with a huge appetite for food and cute girls. Seigaku’s Pillar of Heterosexuality. There was still hope.
Momo looked over at Kaidou. Then he looked again. Surely this was simply an extension of his fondness for reiteration. Surely he hadn’t just done a double-take over Kaidou, of all people.
Mamushi was hanging out with Inui-senpai alot these days. At the moment they were on the sidelines together, talking while Kaidou stretched. There was an odd sort of half-smile on Inui’s face, and Momo got the feeling he wasn’t talking about tennis. Kaidou was blushing, no surprise there. Something Inui-senpai had said had apparently offended him, or embarrassed him, or the wind had changed direction, or whatever. Total freaks, the both of them. It should’ve been against the law to have that much weirdness concentrated in one area like that. Momo decided to disperse it a bit.
“Oi, Mamushi! Quit slacking off over there!”
Kaidou stopped mid-sentence with whatever he was saying to Inui (What were those two talking about so intensely anyway?) and turned furious eyes on Momo. The interloper wasn’t so pleased with himself that he missed the deepening blush on Kaidou’s cheeks.
“Who’s slacking off?! If there’s anyone who needs more practice, it’s you!” growled Kaidou, looking like he was about to stomp over to Momo and give him a bloody death with the racket in his fist.
There was a particular joy in Momoshiro Takeshi’s heart when he saw Kaidou Kaoru’s temper flare, the veins at his temples standing out and his eyes going slightly buggy like some gag comic. It was just so damn amusing how Kaidou fell for it every time. By now Momo was really good at pushing just the right buttons. Just like he knew where to tickle his little brother until he squealed in defeat when they had pillow fights. Momo liked winning petty little things like that, although sometimes he let his brother win, out of fairness.
“One-set match. Come on.” Momo beckoned to Mamushi with his racket.
He’d never let himself lose to Kaidou, though.
When they were first-years, Momo matched him task for task, whether it was fetching tennis balls for the 2nd and 3rd years, or running laps or doing racket swings during practice. Having a playmate like that would’ve been great fun for Momo, but they’d ended up hating each other, and it was all Kaidou’s fault.
Well, not really. Maybe Momo carried a small bit of the blame too. How had it been... the first time he and Kaidou had met?
There were certain things that were important to know about Momo, if you wanted to understand him. He liked to keep himself well-fed, first and foremost. After this, Momo liked to be entertained and to be entertaining; to laugh, be jolly and all-around likable to others. He’d won many friends that first day at Seigaku, and he’d be popular just like he’d been in grade school. This Momo knew. He was pretty fuckin’ awesome.
It was in Momo’s pursuit of entertainment that he met Kaidou. They weren’t in any of the same classes, but Momo had spotted him during the entrance ceremony while he scoped out the other first-years. The guy had a serious face. Kinda scary, really. You got the feeling that the poor guys sitting next to him were scooted over on their chairs as far away as they could go...
But nevermind that. Lots of cute girls in his class... too many to count. Momo imagined himself surrounded by them. Girls, girls, girls... pigtails and sailor fuku with those short little skirts, all flirty and giggly and smelling like flowers. “Momo-chan!” they’d blush. “You’re so silly! Always making jokes...”
Momo didn’t remember the end of the ceremony, didn’t remember smacking into Kaidou as they were leaving the assembly-hall, but at once a deep voice pulled him out of his fluffy little fantasy-land.
“Watch where you’re going, you ass.” Those were the first words Kaidou ever said to him.
“Ah, sorry, sorry!” said Momo, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. He held out his hand. “Momoshiro Takeshi. You can call me Momo.”
“Huh. I didn’t ask,” said Kaidou, eyeing him with contempt before he turned away.
Momo watched in disbelief as Kaidou walked past him, ignoring the offered hand. Snubbing him. Where most people would give up, though, Momoshiro persisted. A bad first-impression wasn’t the end of things. He was kinda scary, this weird gruff guy, but he seemed like he might be interesting too. Momo sensed the possibility of an entertaining friendship. They’d be buddies by the end of the week for sure. Because everyone liked Momo. How could you not?
At lunchtime Momo found himself humming the Anpanman theme, making his way down the hallway with an armful of goodies. Cream pan, melon pan, yakisoba pan, sausage pan... This school had a kickass bakery. He’d been taking surreptitious bites from his bento since about mid-morning, and by lunchtime he’d found it empty, so Momo had gone on a ravenous search for more food. Now that he’d secured such treasures, he was in a better-than-good mood. In the classrooms he was passing, the students that hadn’t gone to the cafeteria arranged themselves in little lunchroom groups. Momo caught sight of a boy in one room, alone despite being in a room full of his classmates. He seemed to have separated himself from the important first-day-of-school social interactions that were taking place.
“Hey, it’s you!” blurted out Momo, coming into Kaidou’s classroom. Kaidou sat perfectly upright and still, hands clasped together for a brief moment in a pre-meal prayer. The solemness of the gesture impressed Momo. This guy really took his food seriously, just like he did. When Kaidou opened his eyes again Momo had already taken a spare chair and pulled himself up to the desk.
Kaidou sighed loudly. “What do you want?”
“Listen, I’m really sorry about knocking into you earli- IS ALL THAT YOUR LUNCH?!” said Momo, getting a closer look at the elaborate bento laid out before Kaidou.
“Wow, does your family own a restaurant or something?! It looks soo gooood...” The saliva that was rapidly accumulating in Momo’s mouth was making it difficult to talk. He leaned in a little.
“No, it’s just my mom’s bento...” Kaidou answered with slight embarrassment. He looked at him with suspicion, disliking Momo’s proximity. He wasn’t going to tell him that this bento was a special one his mom had made for his first day at Seigaku.
“Y-You don’t mind if I... Just a little... tiny taste... Must taste...” Momo trembled. That smell, it was enslaving him, making his hands move by themselves...
Kaidou watched in horror as Momo kidnapped the secret tako weiner from its hiding place behind the rice. His favorite little octopus, tucked away with love and discretion by his mom, in danger of being eaten by this brainless peachboy who wouldn’t leave him alone!
“Put it back,” demanded Kaidou, his voice low and dangerous.
“Ehh? Why? Just a taste...” Momo opened his mouth.
“Put it back now.” Kaidou’s chopsticks rescued the tako from Momo’s fingers.
“Whaat? But I already touched it!” objected Momo, taken aback. “These are for grade school kids anyway.” He snatched the tako again.
“Then why do you want to eat it?!”
“Why do you want to eat it?!”
“You’re touching my lunch with your filthy fingers!” said Kaidou loudly, face red in angry embarrassment. “Who the hell invited you over here anyway?!” Again, the chopsticks plucked the tako away from Momo.
“You shouldn’t be so stingy!” argued Momo, voice loud now too, his hand darting over to steal the tako that Kaidou held out of reach. In the process it upset Kaidou’s desk, sending the bento and all its carefully prepared contents to the floor. The entire classroom froze.
“Ack, your lunch! I’m so sorry! Lemme help you-”
Momo didn’t finish his sentence. In a swift move Kaidou stood and slugged him squarely in the jaw. Momo fell flat on his ass, next to the ruined bento. The boys in the classroom breathed an excited “Whoah...” and a few of the girls screamed.
“Oi, oi, what the hell was that for?!” Momo jumped to his feet again, grabbing Kaidou’s shirt. He was getting pretty angry now. This guy was starting to bother him.
“What do you think it was for, monkey?” Kaidou likewise took a fistful of Momo’s collar.
“Monkey?! If you wanna fight, just say so!” Momo leaned in closer.
“Temeeee....” growled Kaidou.
“Yarouuuu....” growled Momo.
“You two! Come with me!” said the teacher standing in the doorway. Momo and Kaidou took the walk of shame down to the principal’s office, heads hung.
“I don’t care if I have to be punished, but why do I have to sit here with you?” Kaidou said sourly, sitting in a chair outside the office with his arms crossed.
“You’re the one who hit me! Look, this bruise is really bad!” Momo pointed at the large purple-blue spot on his jaw.
“Good. You ruined my lunch because of your idiocy.”
“Why did you have that tako weiner in there anyway? You’re not a little kid.”
“Are they like your favorite food or something?”
“Of course not.”
“Heheehn. That’s still kinda dorky.”
“I didn’t ask you, baka!” snapped Kaidou.
“Yeah, well I’m telling you, aho.” Man this guy’s a real ass, thought Momo.
They sat in silence for awhile. It seemed like they’d been waiting forever in those chairs. Momo’s butt was starting to hurt, and he bet he’d bruised himself there when he’d fallen on the floor too. That bastard had some freaking nerve just punching him like that. Despite that, Momo had to admire the solidness of the punch. Good, hard, and perfectly aimed. An opponent worthy of him. Argh, but this silence was killing him! He needed to make himself forget about that painful throbbing in his face.
“...Hey aho, I still don’t know your name.”
“Why the hell would you want to know my name?”
“Because I do, ok?”
Kaidou gave an annoyed sigh. “Kaidou Kaoru.”
“Yoroshiku na,” said Momo, grinning wryly.
“Hn.” Kaidou looked away.
Momo watched Kaidou out of the corner of his eye. Kaidou Kaoru, huh? Wasn’t this silence killing him too?! How could he sit so perfectly still like that? The frown on Kaidou’s face looked like it was going to burn a hole in the floor. How long had they been sitting here like this? Lunch was probably long over by now. Momo wondered what happened to his bakery goodies. Somebody better not have eaten them. He looked at his watch.
“Shit, the tennis club’s supposed to make their presentation in twenty minutes! Where the hell is this guy? We’ve been waiting forever!”
“Yeah, I came to this school so I could join. They’re really well-known for their tennis club, yanno. I’m gonna take ‘em to the Nationals.”
“I’m surprised an idiot like you can even hold a racket.” Kaidou eyed the muscles in Momo’s arms. Momo was bulkier than he was, probably slower across the court, but maybe a stronger swing...
“Oh yeah? I don’t think they’d let a freak like you on the team.”
“What the hell did you say?!”
“You heard me, baaka,” said Momo, narrowing his eyes and pronouncing “baka” all funny, so that it sounded like “buaaaka.”
“Yarouuuu....” hissed Kaidou, about to grab Momo’s shirt again.
Momo waved him away, serious all of a sudden. “Oi, not now. I’ve gotta make it to the tennis club presentation.”
“I’ve got to make it to the tennis club presentation. They won’t let monkeys who don’t mind their business and who touch other people’s food into the club.”
“Will you just shut up for a minute?! Geez, you’re such a whiny guy!”
“Aren’t you the one who started talking to me?!”
“I don’t know why I tried to be nice to you in the first place. Shou ga nee na... Shou ga nee yo.”
“Fushuuu...” was Kaidou’s only response.
“What the hell was that? Did you just hiss like a snake or something?! God, you’re weird.”
Kaidou gave him a smoldering look, but it didn’t faze Momo like it did the other boys in his class. Hmm... so the idiot had some backbone. Or maybe he was just too stupid to realize when he was being annoying. Which was all the time.
“So seriously, are you any good?”
“Better than you, I’m sure.”
“We should have a match!”
“...I’m not going to waste my time playing with you.”
Momo turned away. “Yeah, you’d probably just lose and I’d have to hear you whine about that too.” Grinning, his eyes drifted back to Kaidou, who shot up from his seat.
“Name the time and the place, and I’ll be there, asshole!” Kaidou declared, jabbing a finger into Momo’s chest.
“After we get into the tennis club.”
Kaidou looked at him a moment, before he sat down again. “Ah.”
Eventually all of the regulars had learned how to manipulate Kaidou in this fashion, but Momo liked to think he excelled at it. Most people stayed away from Kaidou because he was always frowning and so intense and quiet and just radiating weirdness. He wasn’t so scary to Momo, though. Kaidou really needed to lighten-up, that was his problem. How could he resist poking fun at a guy who seemed so serious all the time? Where was his sense of humor?
After they’d joined the tennis club it was one fight after another, competing brutally and pushing each other to the limit at the same time. As strange as it sounded, it was great for Momo and Kaidou to have each other around. Perhaps the other members saw this, and that was why they almost never intervened when the two argued, butting heads like two stags.
Besides, Kaidou hated Momo, but Momo didn’t really hate Kaidou. It was simply difficult to have non-hateful feelings about someone who felt the opposite about you, was Momo’s reasoning. Sometimes though, he got kind of a rush from their interactions. He was feeling it now, that intensity that was unique to Kaidou, coming at him full-force as they volleyed back and forth on the court.
“Not bad, Mamushi~!” sang Momo, hitting a backhand. The tension between them was wonderful, he was sailing on it. His racket had freshly tightened guts, and his thighs, calves, and arms were beginning a slow lovely burn from exertion.
“Don’t call me that!” Kaidou yelled back, his forehand pounding back at Momo with deadly speed, because Kaidou always played better when he was angry at something or someone in particular.
“Jaa, ‘Mamu-chan’ then.” That always got him. Kaidou was not only a snake, but a cute snake, and he never stood for that. Not that Momo thought Kaidou was “cute” by any stretch of the imagination...
“SHUT UP!!” bellowed Kaidou, returning with his Snake, ironically.
He’d hit it in just the right place, and Momo couldn’t return the shot, which meant Kaidou won the game.
“Ch’. Mamu-chan wins,” said Momo, hands behind his head and radiating nonchalance, even though the loss was really irritating him this time. “Mamushi” was probably better. “Mamu-chan” was too close to “Momo-chan,” and Kaidou didn’t have any of the cuddly, likable, irresistible qualities that Momo undoubtedly possessed. He couldn’t even imagine how you’d cuddle Kaidou. He sighed. “You’re not cute. Not cute at all...”
“What?!” Kaidou was standing at the net, a look of repulsion on his face.
Oops. Had he just said that out loud? “Uhh, g-good game! My win next time though, ahaha... Ha...” finished Momo awkwardly.
“Baka,” said Kaidou, giving him an extra-long look before he left the court.
Momo watched him a moment, his wrists hanging on the racket as it rested on the back of his shoulders. No, definitely not the warmfuzzy cuddly type. Mamushi was into rough trade, for sure. Handcuffs and hot wax and wild twisted shit like that. The stuff you read about in those ecchi magazines his dad had in the back of his closet. He was always scuffing himself up on the court more than everyone else. And why was that? Because Kaidou was an S+M freak, of course.
But was he into the S or the M? Momo wondered which one he himself would be, not that he was a pervert or anything. Hmm... maybe an S.
And maybe Kaidou was an M. It was the M types that liked scuffing themselves up like that, right? You tied them up and slapped them around a little and they totally loved it, couldn’t get enough of it. Kaidou would make those grunty breathy sounds just like he did on the court, all sweaty and ropy with muscle just like Momo, but yielding deliciously to him, because he was an M and Momo was an S and that’s how you did those things...
At last Ryoma waved his hand in front of Momo’s glazed eyes, and he snapped out of whatever nightmarish gay fantasy he’d slipped into.
“You were really zoned-out there, Senpai,” Ryoma observed. Momo detected slight annoyance, but that was only because he’d gotten good at reading the sometimes imperceptible variances in Echizen’s monotone.
“Ah, sorry about that,” sweatdropped Momo. For a moment he wondered if Echizen could somehow read his mind, but then the fear and the weirdness and... the gayness passed, and he was back to being Momo-chan-senpai again.
“I don’t really care, but you’re blocking the court,” said Ryoma coolly. “Should we practice together, since you’re here?”
“Alright, alright, I know you can’t wait to practice with your favorite senpai.” Momo grinned, pulling down playfully on the brim of Ryoma’s cap.
“I don’t have a favorite,” answered Ryoma, expressionless. He straightened his hat back to the way he liked it as he went to take the side of the court Kaidou had vacated.
So at first Momo and Ryoma had a nice smooth practice going. Momo pulled off a beautiful Dunk Smash, and managed to return a Twist Serve or two. It was one of those days when you just meshed with your opponent, and Momo could read Ryoma’s moves without even trying. Then... he caught sight of Kaidou with Inui on C-court, and nearly fell on his face returning a simple lob. Geez, what the hell had gotten into him?!
“You’re acting weird today, Momo-senpai.” Ryoma caught the ball in his hand.
“Agh, mouuu...” grumbled Momo, scratching his head.
Ryoma eyed him slyly. “Is it Tachibana’s little sister?”
“Hnn? I thought for sure you were lovesick, to miss a shot that easy.”
“S-shut up! Just serve the ball!!”
Lovesick?! screamed Momo’s head. Lovesick?!?! Of all the dumbass things Echizen could’ve said... and now he was definitely cursed. Echizen had jinxed him for the rest of the day. Wasn’t that just like Echizen, to psych-out his opponent like that? Echizen was grinning. Because he’d successfully psyched Momo out? Because he really could see all the freaky gay stuff that was floating around in Momo’s head? Why oh why did Echizen always abuse him so? Making him buy hamburgers for him all the time... Momo shoved his jacket onto the shelf in the clubhouse, yanking off his regular’s shirt in annoyance.
“You’re in my way.”
“You’re in MY way!!” exploded Momo, not making much sense, but that was Momo when he was mad.
Kaidou looked at him strangely. “Hmph. You’re acting more idiotic than usual today.” That was Kaidou expressing concern over Momo, without seeming to.
“Chik ‘sho...” Momo mumbled. His fingers refused to successfully button his school shirt.
“Oi,” said Kaidou, a little alarmed at Momo’s inability to dress himself. Momo didn’t have seizures, did he...?
“WHAT THE FUCK IS IT?!?” shrieked Momo.
“HOLD STILL!!” Kaidou yelled back, rapidly losing patience. This was Kaidou being helpful. He snatched open Momo’s shirt and proceeded to button it properly, businesslike.
Momo stared at Kaidou’s fingers. They were long and slim as they worked along the buttonholes in Momo’s shirt. Once or twice Kaidou’s fingers brushed Momo’s chest in their movements, leaving odd little ripples of sensation there. Momo’s eyes went from Kaidou’s hands to his face set in its frown of concentration, the strange sensation making Momo warmer and warmer, tickling his brain.
Then Momo lost it. There was a thud. That was Momo kissing Kaidou, Kaidou’s head hitting the shelves behind them.
It goes without saying that Momo was a bad kisser. Kaidou had had better from the dog that lived down the block from him. Momo was terribly slobbery. No technique at all. Kaidou thought of the way Inui did it, how Inui could own him with contact as simple as a kiss. Inui-senpai was patient, not like this eager sloppy idiot in front of him. And who the hell did Momo think he was, making a move on him like this?!
Momo didn’t really know who he was at the moment. He’d been messing around with Kaidou like usual earlier today and then, more and more... he felt like screwing him. Somewhere along the way he’d made a terrible wrong turn, and now he was in some freaky upside-down place where Momo and Mamu were falling into dewy-eyed love. Or lust. Or whatever.
Shit, this was the most uncool thing that could ever happen to him!
They broke away with a smacking sound, and Kaidou swiped vigorously at his mouth before he grabbed Momo by his shirt (which sadly became half-unbuttoned again.)
“Yarouuuu...” rasped Kaidou, eyes on fire. “I’ll fucking kill you.”
“Yeah, I know,” sighed Momo. They were both breathing quickly, bodies tense. Momo felt the rush again, Kaidou’s anger spurring him on.
Suddenly Momo was grabbing at Kaidou, and naturally Kaidou punched him, right where he’d punched Momo the day they’d first met. They fell to the floor in a heap, Momo on top of Kaidou and Kaidou fighting him. Somehow Momo’s hips were grinding into Kaidou’s, and they both kinda liked that, were both half-aroused, but Kaidou still shoved at him. Kaidou was still furious. Not enough to knee him in the balls, for some reason. He felt Momo’s shaky breathing against his shoulder, and then Momo was kissing him again. Kaidou didn’t realize he’d opened his mouth until Momo’s tongue had invaded it. Clumsily, Momo undid the buttons of Kaidou’s shirt, popping off the last one in his haste so that it skittered across the floor.
“Kiss marks?” Momo paused, dumbfounded. “Are those really-”
“It’s none of your goddamn business!” Kaidou yanked his shirt closed, face red. “Are you going to get off me or am I going to break your arms?!” One Puma sneaker shoved hard into Momo’s gut, knocking the wind out of him.
“Kaidou is still unaccustomed with his ability to inspire lust in others,” smirked Inui, leaning against the doorframe and admiring the scene.
“I came to see what was taking you so long.”
Inui nodded towards the sprawled body on the floor. “Did you kill Momo?”
“I should have!” Kaidou answered viciously.
“That was low!” whined Momo, finding his voice again as he sat up. “You punched me and you kicked me!”
“Why the hell do you think I did it, dumbass?! I felt your... your...”
“Yeah, well I felt yours too!”
“As if I would ever... with you!”
“I wouldn’t want to make you cheat on that freaky girlfriend of yours, Mamushi.”
“Oh?” said Inui, coming over to Kaidou and stooping down, casual. “Are those from her, Kaidou?” He pulled Kaidou’s shirt open again, smiling. In his more poetic post-coital moments, Inui liked to think of Kaidou’s body as his canvas. His thumb brushed a nipple as if by accident. “She must be quite an animal.”
“Is she a hottie?” Momo leaned forward intently, pain forgotten.
“Really, Kaidou. Is she attractive?” pressed Inui, his head cocked innocently to the side.
“Senpai.” Kaidou gave him a Look.
“Have you done... It?” queried Momo, eyes widening at the thought.
Inui gave Kaidou a Long Look. “Hmm...”
Feeling violated with lewd scrutiny from both sides, Kaidou was quiet, clutching at his shirt again and scowling at the floor.
And now that idiot Momo was looking him up and down, all smug and snickering. Kaidou huffed, jumping to his feet. His patience was gone, and he wasn’t about to let himself be stared at like that. “I’m going home!”
“But I thought we were...” Inui began, rising quickly to follow.
Kaidou turned away. “Don’t feel like it!”
“Kaidou...” Inui grabbed Kaidou’s hand, anxious to stop him.
Momo watched them with amusement. He’d never seen Inui-senpai lose his cool like that. He was always so mellow... And then Momo’s jaw dropped. A look of profound horror crossed his face as his mind at last put 2 and 2 together. He looked from Inui, to Kaidou, then to the interlocked hands... he thought of the kiss marks, Kaidou blushing at practice, Inui’s smile... “ability to inspire lust in others”...
“Holy shit, you’re screwing! You and Inui-senpai!!” Momo hopped to his feet and pointed accusingly. “Screwing!!”
Kaidou clamped a hand over Momo’s mouth, murderous. “Shut up. Idiot.”
“Mnnn!!” said the muffled Momo.
“Don’t pretend you didn’t just try to do something indecent, sukebe.” Kaidou warned, releasing Momo’s mouth.
“I bet you do alot of indecent things, you perv!”
“Unfortunately, no,” murmured Inui, looking a little wistful.
“Inui-senpai and Mamushi... I wouldn’t have believed it, not in a million years...” Momo shook his head, marvelling. He wondered if Inui was an S...
“No one hears about this. Any of this.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’ll keep your perverted secret for you. Geez,” answered Momo, rolling his eyes. He glanced at Inui-senpai. He had to be an S. A scary S.
“Are we going?” snapped Kaidou, turning suddenly to Inui.
There was a small startled pause before Inui answered. “Ah, yes... let’s go.”
Kaidou strode away, his senpai in tow.
Total freaks, thought Momo again. And they’re doing... It. Momo shook his head. Eww. He wasn’t even sure he understood how guys did It... Was it really worth the trouble? Momo doubted it.
“Momo-senpai. You’re late.” Echizen was standing next to Momo’s bike, looking expectantly at him.
“Warii.” said Momo, even though he wasn’t really late, because Ryoma had simply been waiting for him. He smiled, glad to leave the weirdness of what had just happened behind him. There was refuge in the comforting normalness of Echizen. They would eat hamburgers together, and Echizen would be a little bratty, but Momo was fond of him and only teased him about it.
“You’re less spacy now.”
“Ohh, yeah...” Momo took out his key with the little peaches dangling from it and unlocked the bike chain.
“Kaidou-senpai looked upset,” stated Ryoma, in lieu of asking directly about what had happened.
“Na, Echizen... you’ve gotta keep it a secret...” Momo waited for Ryoma to nod before he continued in a low, confidential tone. “Mamushi and Inui-senpai...” He raised his pinky finger.
“He~h? Are they serious?” Ryoma’s eyes widened a little, and he grinned.
“What, like they’re married or something?”
“If it’s just head, it’s not serious.”
“Whaaat?!” Momo was blown away. Echizen wasn’t supposed to know more about this than Momo did, right?! Had he learned about that stuff in America?!
“Really, if it’s just head it’s not serious. Anybody can give head,” Ryoma explained, as though it were common knowledge. He looked up with an expression even Momo couldn’t read. “*I* can give head.”
“...h-how do you know?” asked Momo faintly, light-headed.
“...e-echizen...” whimpered Momo in a half-whisper. He leaned on the handlebars of his bike, swallowing hard.
“Anyway, good for them. Maybe Inui-senpai won’t have time to make any more juice recipes,” Ryoma concluded, sensible.
“So are we going?”
Going out?!?! shrieked Momo’s head. “Hah?”
“Oh, sure, sure.”
“I’ll treat you. Just this once.” Another one of those unreadable glances from Echizen, and then they were off.
The Pillars... The Pillars are crumbling... Tezuka-bucho watched from a window of the Student Council room on the second floor. The conversation he’d just overhead... had shaken him deeply. Moreso than Kikumaru with Oishi and honey, moreso even than Inui with Kaidou and “devices.” He felt like a king watching as his castle was besieged.
Some would say Tezuka was jumping to conclusions. Others would say Tezuka had some weird Freudian fixation on pillars. Still others would say Tezuka was boring, and why pay him any attention at all? So we leave the suffering Tezuka-bucho, just as the shadow of Fuji Syuusuke fell upon him in the empty room, a quiet gara-gara sound as the door slid shut.
Kaidou and Inui were walking to Inui’s place, possibly to do It, but you never knew, they could’ve been getting together to study.
“I thought you said he had a thing for Echizen...” said Kaidou, still unsettled from his encounter with Momo. How long had Inui-senpai been watching them there, anyway?
“Oh, he does,” said Inui, who’d seemed rather unperturbed by the sight of Momo dry-humping Kaidou. “It’s just that he doesn’t know it yet. He needs to get over this thing he has for you, now that he realizes that you belong to me.” Inui smiled down at him. He’d always wanted to say that. Kaidou twitched.
“I wouldn’t mind lending you out for a bit, if you’re inclined,” continued Inui, tilting his head a little, thoughtful. He was a generous person, and it was fun to share sometimes. For a moment young Hazue drifted into his mind again. “I suspect you’d probably spend all of your energy fighting about who got to be on top... Although on the other hand, it seems unhealthy to leave such obvious sexual tension unresolved, hmm?”
“It happens sometimes, between rivals.”
Kaidou thought of Inui and Tezuka, quiet discussions between them, a match they might have played. He stopped, shooting Inui a displeased look.
“No need to worry,” Inui assured him. “I’m a man of honor. And I like you,” he professed gently, for the first time, if anyone was keeping track. And maybe Kaidou was.
“Hn. I wasn’t worried,” said Kaidou, falling into step with him again. Inui supposed it was Kaidou’s way of saying, “I like you too.”